Friendship is good for a person’s mental health because they can form one of the foundations of our ability to cope with problems that life throws at us. It is important that people feel supported and accepted when they experience a mental health problem and friends can provide this security.
Friendships also help to reinforce a person’s self esteem, which is often damaged when they are experiencing a mental health problem.
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Sometimes people with mental health problems can mask their symptoms with drug or alcohol abuse and in these cases people can have friendships that can damage their mental health further.
It is essential that people with mental health problems have friends who can support them in a positive way. If somebody has a damaging friendship it is important they let it go without feeling guilty about losing that friend.
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People who have a mental health problem are far more likely to harm themselves than other people. There are, on average, 600 homicides committed each year in the UK. Whilst every one is a tragedy, only around 50 are committed by people with a mental illness, most of whom will not have been in touch with specialist services. Drugs and easy access to knives remain a far greater threat to our public safety.
It is these sorts of misconceptions that make people with a mental health problem reluctant to disclose their illness to close friends and family.
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It can be very difficult for someone who is feeling depressed to open up about how they are feeling. Stigma still exists around mental illness, which can make many people afraid to tell their friends if they are experiencing a mental health problem.
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Professional support is vital to people experiencing a mental health problem and there is no substitute for this. However, people told us that friendships can be important to them and some mentioned that friends can provide as much support as professionals, albeit in different ways.
For many people, it is the small things that friends do on a day-to-day basis that can make a difference such as making regular visits or phone calls a friend with a mental health problem.
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Although friendships are important to people with mental health problems, friends should not feel responsible for them. Neither should they feel guilty if they do not know what to say or do. The most important thing a person can do is to tell their friend that they’re still a friend.
It is important that person with a mental health problem explains to their friend what they are experiencing. Most people know very little about mental health issues and explaining what the problem is can help friends to provide support.
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There is no right or wrong, whatever feels right for your friendship. Here are five tips:
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Keep in contact through regular phone calls, visits or emails
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Give emotional support through listening and talking
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Try to give practical support, such as helping your friend do the shopping or cook dinner
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Just be around
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Try and understand your friend’s mental health problem
The Mental Health Foundation has also published a booklet about friendship and mental health that offers help and guidance to people with mental health problems and their friends. Read online booklet
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It is important to remember that it is the quality of a person’s friends that is important and not the quantity. Just having one close, confiding friend can make a big difference.
However, if a person doesn’t have any friends, there are services available that do recognise the importance of social interaction and there are schemes that encourage this. For example;
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In Hertfordshire and Essex, there are friendship schemes that aim to reduce the social isolation that can result from long-term mental illness. They are one to one befriending services that match volunteers to people with mental health problems with similar interests, and encourages them to spend time together in social situations.
Local mental health associations such as those run by Mind can also help people by providing advice and support, including befriending services. There are over 200 Mind associations in England and Wales.
Speaking to other people through mental health forums and message boards can be helpful. One such forum is the 1 in 4 Forum
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There are some services in England to support friends of people with mental health problems.
Unfortunately, there are not many publications or practical tools available in England to help people support their friends through a mental health problem. This is why the Mental Health Foundation has produced a new booklet which offers help and guidance to people with mental health problems and their friends.
More information about the booklet
In Scotland, the Scottish Executive has devised a psychological first aid training course, which aims to educate people about helping those with mental health problems. This shows that people can learn skills to help friends experiencing mental distress and we would like to see a similar scheme rolled out across the rest of the UK.
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